Poet’s Dilemma

Poet’s Dilemma
I try to draw the searching word in sight
to speak a truth I hardly know is there,
or name a feeling that disturbs my night,
or bring a smothered fear into the air.

Sometimes I wake as words begin to cling –
it’s best to get a pen and let them out,
or they may circle ‘til I let them sing.
If I ignore them, they may leave, or shout!

I make a web of rhythm and of rhyme:
sometimes the strands will capture what I need,
or if I let the words, unbidden, climb
to fall in random heaps, what might I read?

Sometimes I wonder if too neat a verse
is just a box to keep truth in control
lest it affect my life. I am perverse
resisting what I guess might heal my soul.

Revealing truth in word’s a two-edged sword,
and Jesus must have known that as God’s Word.
There’s only so much truth we can afford.
God’s word still speaks. Can my words make it heard?
	Barbara Messner 12/01/2023

What Are You Looking For?

What are you looking for?
Epiphany 2; John 1:29-42
When Jesus saw me following,
he said, “What are you looking for?”
I walked on slowly, pondering,
and tried to reach for meaning’s core.

“You are a chord to which I sing,
a resonance most rich and true.
You give imagination wing,
show colours fresh with morning dew.

You seem to wake the best of me,
the gifts I had not learnt to trust,
a wider, finer way to be,
more caring, understanding, just.

So teacher, let me stay a while
wherever you have found to rest.
He answered me with warmth and smile,
“Yes, come and see and be my guest.”
	Barbara Messner 26/11/2022

Jesus’ Baptism

Jesus’ Baptism
The Baptism of our Lord; Matthew 3:13-17
Just as he chose the waters of the womb,
immersed himself in fragile life on earth,
was formed in Mary’s body, cramped for room,
then cried for air in dark and cold of birth,
so now he answers to the Baptist’s call:
the Jordan does not part, but takes him down,
kneeling in mud, he feels his body crawl
with need for air and fear that he might drown.
Three times he sets himself the ritual test, 
letting the waters close above his head,
foretaste of death. He surfaces distressed, 
gulping at air before the water’s shed.
Open to heaven, he feels the Spirit dart,
and words of love expand and brand his heart.
          Barbara Messner January 2017

Girl on the Trampoline

Girl on the Trampoline
The girl on the trampoline next door
bounced up above the shielding fence
that makes good neighbours scarcely known.
She bounded up and into sight,
yelled, “Hey, old lady!” Who was that?

At first, I thought it wasn’t me,
but there was no-one else to see.
I heard her laugh in boasting glee
with some less vocal, hidden friend,
then, “Hey, old lady!” – one more shout
this time struck home and left me mute.

Some snarly, childish part of me
would like to voice a harsh rebuke.
How did that impulse bounce in sight
above the fences I thought high?

I know I’m seventy – that’s old,
but still I baulk – that isn’t me,
and “lady” I think might imply
attachment to some dignity.
To status I do not aspire –
a woman, earthy, unaligned
to powers that be (or wish they were).

Yet indignation reared its head,
and wanted to use adult power
to quell the boldness of this child.
Thank God I held my traitor tongue,
and questioned what rose up in me,
set it once more behind my fence;
but there I had to look at me,
and try to live the grace of old,
seek Wisdom Woman, elder soul.
	Barbara Messner 6/01/2023

Song for Epiphany

Song for Epiphany
Matthew 2:1-12 (written to fit the Irish traditional tune Columcille, as arranged by John Bell, Iona Community, for his song No wind at the window, Together in Song 287)
What star can I follow
to kneel in that place?
How far will I journey?
What doubts dare erase?
And if I can find him
what vision might glow?
What fulfilment? What belonging?
To be known and to know?

Though traps of the powerful
might lure me astray,
the star at my heart’s core
will show me the way.
My arrival is joyful,
my homage sincere.
Are there gifts for me to offer?
I have little, I fear.

But giving that little,
I find there is more:
all learnt from the past now
becomes a fresh store.
What I thought was failure
is now a resource.
There is nothing that is wasted
when renewed at the source.

Returning, I follow
a dream-guided way,
and see the familiar
become a new day.
Though far I have travelled,
I know he is near,
and my gifts and search for wisdom
will in him become clear.
	Barbara Messner 5/01/2022

Treasuring and Pondering

Treasuring and Pondering
The Naming and Circumcision of Jesus; Luke 2:15-21
“But Mary treasured all these things
and pondered them in her heart.”
She knew that’s how the Spirit flames
from sacred truth.

Does the Spirit guide the wary mind
assigning scholarly ticks 
to what might be historical?
Isn’t that a form of arrogance,
an excuse for many footnotes
making display of learning?

Does the Spirit demand certainty
that every scriptural word
reports the literal facts?
Isn’t that a form of idolatry,
trying to make mystery, 
poetry and transcendence
into material representations?

Jesus was born of Mary,
and people were drawn to see him,
but there’s no birth story 
in John’s gospel or Mark’s,
and Luke’s and Matthew’s differ.
Are their nativity stories not true,
or are they sacred truth
treasured and pondered?

Matthew tells of wise men from the East,
and then the family’s flight to Egypt.
Luke speaks of shepherds from the hills,
and shows us Jesus the devout Jew,
initiated from birth 
by rites required by sacred law.

Perhaps Matthew pondered in his heart,
and the treasure the Spirit showed him
was Jesus as universal Wisdom,
recognized by foreign astrologers,
persecuted by a jealous king,
forced into exile in Egypt,
like Joseph in Genesis,
sold by jealous brothers.

Luke also treasured and pondered,
saw Jesus as the fulfilment
of Hebrew Scripture,
born in the city of David,
welcomed by shepherds,
named by angel messenger,
circumcised according to the law,
presented in the temple 
and greeted by prophets.

I wonder what dimensions
of sacred truth were shown to Mary
as she treasured all these things
and pondered them in her heart?
	Barbara Messner 28/12/2022

The Flight to Egypt

The Flight to Egypt
Holy Innocents; Matthew 2:13-23
We keep our dreaming shuttered in our sleep,
but Joseph was a man who trusted dreams. 
They fled into the night. Their loss was deep,
but not as great as woe from Herod’s schemes.
Behind them, parents wept for children dead.
In Egypt, they at least still had their son,
though home was lost, and work and often bread,
and speech and common knowledge were undone.
As refugees, no kin would offer aid;
no roof, no meal, no job to ease their way..
I wonder in their plight were bargains made
with wise men’s gifts, on some dark, hopeless day.
Then angel dreams urged Jesus to return,
What wisdom from that time did Jesus learn?
	Barbara Messner 27/12/2022

Christmas Sonnet

Christmas Sonnet

To Mary bearing down on love,
pain comes through saying: “Here am I.”
Bring down to earth the God above?
Plain sense and comfort question why.
Birth pangs are hers, but also his,
pushed out into a world like this,
where God with us must learn to cry.
Yet that first cry we hear as gift
more precious than the gold of kings,
and his last cry can bridge the rift
more surely than all angels’ wings,
for he is us, our pain is his,
and joy finds voice in cries like this.
“We are new born!” our being sings.
	Barbara Messner December 2019

God with us

God with us
Advent 4; Matthew 1:23
Commercial Christmas has no place for God,
yet baby Jesus, Season’s icon, might
be found on billboards and the internet.
Lip service offered blandly may still serve
to claim him space within our consciousness.
Co-opted and profaned as pretext, still
Christ’s coming stands as challenge to the urge
to get and spend in search of Christmas cheer.

Nativities on Christmas cards are scarce;
the baubles, tinselled trees and doves of peace
make secular what once was steeped in awe.
Still sacrosanct are Christmas holidays:
ironic that that word for our escapes
derives from “Holy Days”. What’s holy now -
a fair, white baby with a haloed head,
re-incarnated as a folk lore tale?

When Christ in our own image is disguised,
the Virgin Mary a suburban Mum
dressed up to look religious in a shawl,
are we struck blind with scales upon our eyes,
so “God with us” cannot be recognized?
Or is this how the incarnation works,
with Christ as homeless here as he was there,
come to his own but made a refugee?

Now are there only wise ones from afar
who dare to make a journey with a star?
Perhaps angelic messengers prefer
to come to herders camping in the hills,
where vision is not dimmed by city lights,
but open to the vastness of the skies,
attuned to animals and ancient land,
where birth and death write meaning in the wind.

So who is Christ to you this Christmas time –
the cute and pristine babe of sentiment,
or some poor waif who huddles in the dark,
left by the wayside of our privilege,
no hope of presents or of Christmas food?
The God who cries for justice for the poor
would come among us on the margins still,
and offer there his body as Christ mass.
Barbara Messner Christmas 2017 

Sharing John’s Grief and Doubt

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Sharing John’s Grief and Doubt
Advent 3; Matthew 11:2-11
I grieve when I read of John
imprisoned and in doubt.
John as Baptist prepared the way
for one more powerful than himself,
one who would take an axe to the fruitless,
thresh the grain and burn the chaff
with unquenchable fire.

Who is John, now unsure of his Messiah?
“Are you the one?” he asks,
robbed of his own fire and purpose.
The death he foresees
seems pointless and unseemly.
Would the evidence of healings
and good news to the poor,
or Jesus’ offering of muted praise
have consoled John’s last days?

No prisoner am I
but having just turned 70
I feel a closing in of walls,
and the confronting absurdity
of death in the wings.

I am subject to minor fates:
on Sunday my car broke down
in a country town, on the way 
to a church service,
leaving a gathered people without a priest,
and me as priest without an altar.
I had looked forward
to speaking of peace, sharing at table,
watching a dark child
lighting the Advent candles.

It’s not that I doubt
the healings and good news,
or that Jesus is the one to come.
My doubts are about
being retired, turning 70,
car and my peace breaking down,
losing the purposeful journey.
I want to be consoled by the gospel,
but what I feel is grief.
	Barbara Messner 7/12/2022